the Rock Report

Hey … didja read where Jay Richardson (aka Big Bopper, Jr.), the son of the late legend, J. P. (”Big Bopper”) Richardson, wants his dad’s body exhumed?? According to Jay, there’s been speculation that, perhaps, there was gunfire on that Cessna that carried Richardson, Richie Valens and, of course, Buddy Holly.
The fact is that all bodies but the Bopper’s was found at impact-point, among the immediate wreckage. His was discovered 40 feet away from the others, as if he were going to get help. This has lent to the theory of the gunfire.
All that Bopper’s son wants is to clear up the issue once and for all. I mean, wouldn’t you do the same thing if it happened to your dad??

Now, this is largely a rocker’s rest stop, but I’ve gotta give a shout-out to Kevin Bacon and Kyra Sedgwick for their support of music … for pets! If you’ll click on this link, you’ll learn more. Not only have I admired Kevin as actor, husband and person, but, having heard the music (it’s genuinely soothing, once ya get past the hankerin’ for kibble!) and also checking out his Six Degrees charity, I’ve come to appreciate him more …

And a word about Lloyd Thaxton’s Stuff Happens book: If you haven’t read that one yet, get ON it!! This is one of the most enjoyable and refreshing reads you’ll ever want in your library! Oh … if ya checked out his entry on his blog, you’ll see how it almost became “SHIT HAPPENS!” Well, where I’m from, the word shit is actually a combination of two popular pronouns (one feminine, one generic: She and It). Normally preceded by the word “bull”.
But the books definitely not bull!

Okay … the meter’s run out this time, but I’ll be back with a new update in a few days …

Hey … remember that old “Popeye” cartoon, where Olive Oyl had a vision of running for the Oval Office? When she sang, “If I Were President,” it was with dreams of pretty curtains, teatime and der Bingle as VP.
My, how times have changed! Olive’s gone (except in reruns — come to think about it, didn’t Bush have one called 2001?), but … but Hillary lives! And now she’s thrown her hat into the Presidential ring (providin’ it doesn’t mess up her hair …).
Now, the Eagle has his own feelings about her candidacy on the Great American Newspaper site … along with a pic sent by a fan that shows the (pre-bald) Bird in a rather unusual setting.
And that pic made me wonder: If the Amazing Avarian were Prez, what would his platform be?

• First, the National Anthem would be rendered ala Jimi Hendrix. Nobody could paint a musical picture better than his “Woodstock” version of the tune …
• We’d close up the chapter in Iraq and bring our military home — sending a Tuppperware lady, a Chippendale dancer, a televangelist and Richard Simmons over to totally confuse the enemy until all troops are withdrawn.
• He’d make “idnit” and “dudnit” legal words (examples of usage: “That ol’ car’s ’bout wore out, idnit?” “Looks silly with that bald guy drivin’ it, dudnit?”).
• He’d vindicate old cars with bald guys driving them.
• He’d give a ten-dollar tax refund to each American for each time they made love in the previous year, while trying to figure out how he’ll spend his dollar-and-twenty-five-cents.
• People would be promoted heavily. Life would be revived. Time would be extended. All other magazines would have to stand on their own …
• He would commission scientists to study the Rolling Stones to determine the cause of their longevity. By doing so, we may be able to extend life by 120 years …
• (He’d find a use for this space, considering he lost part of his script)
• There’d be a national ban on “Microsoft Explorer needs to close” messages
• His running mate wouldn’t know how to fire a gun …
• The national food would be peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwiches. Toasted. With bananas. And martinis.
• He would ban Maalox, because there is no FemalOx. Ever.
• A new form of power for cars would involve zucchinis and lubricant, followed by a Congressional hearing on the lawsuit filed by the porn industry.

If impeachment doesn’t occur within the first two months, we’re safe …

Hmph … I didn’t drink on New Year’s Eve, except for that one martini that went down the wrong way and caused me to make that funny sound as I nearly strangled:
“GOOOOO-gle!
Which brings me to the first part of this post (there’ll be another segment following this one):
Google&#8482 is, undoubtedly, the best search engines for finding whatever/whenever/etc. While I covered it on my TGAN&#8482 site before, you’ll find a really interesting (and in-depth) post about it on Lloyd Thaxton’s blog.
Now, most people will Google themselves at least once (don’t worry; contrary to the old wives’ tale, you won’t go blind!). It’s kinda Chicken Soup for the Ego to see your name up in monitor lights.
But, more often than not, you’ll find at least one other person with your name attached to his/her biography … and … and …
MY GOD! THEY’RE ACTUALLY OUT THERE … MAYBE WREAKING HAVOC ON YOUR GOOD REPUTATION!!
Awwww, it’s just somethin’ we gotta put up with. Figure it like this: Whoever created you musta thought he/she did a bangup job, so he/she created more of ya to go around!
Me?? Let’s seeeee … there’s an (a) insurance salesman, (b) a software designer, (c) a long-distance runner, (b) evidently, a guy who can’t count, (e) an evangelist … and plenty more where that came from.
But there’s only one Rock Relic. Only one human Eagle.
I think. Lemme Google that …

Now … on to other things …

(1) Bush. 21G more troops? Another maxibillion in the kitty? No way, man … he’s signing a sound defeat for the GOP in 08. And getting mainstream America p!!!ed off!

(2) James Brown. The weekly rag calling itself The Globe recently frontpaged a pic of the Godfather, in his coffin … and then bannered about a fight for his “fortune”! “Disgraceful”? Too mild a word! DISPICABLE is a little better (but not much …). Why the hell do they hit after the man’s gone from us?? Answer: Because they were too damned chickensh!! to face Mr. Brown when he was alive! It’s easier to hit Mr. Brown/Elvis/Lennon/others when they’re dead … and the pics sell copies! Sorry, folks … to this Eagle, they’re BS … disrespectful … and oughtta be bought out by a reputable company!

(3) Wesley Autry. What a better New Year’s gift to give someone than their own life! This man could teach the world a million new lessons in bravado.

(4) Carrie Underwood. Congrats to a lovely young lady for winning the People’s Choice Award for best vocalist. Granted, she’ll never replace Jennifer Weatherly as this Person’s Choice for best female vocalist, but she’s dynamic! As for Faith Hill: An old Kentucky saying: “Sorry-boutcher-luck!”

More a bit later … stay tuned …