the Rock Report

Hey … here’s a quick reminder that Cheech and Chong’s Celebrity Roast is on for tonight (Nov. 30) on Superstation WTBS. I believe it’s at 10 PM EST.

These two have come back onto the scene swingin’ , and it’s gonna be interesting to hear some of the barbs thrown back and forth during this hour-long show!
Okay … maybe the bit with Andy Dick won’t be that good, but the rest?? Fantastic lineup … just be sure ya take it in, okay?

HAPPY TOGETHER??

Don’t sweat it: It’s not about Mark and Howie (or Flo and Eddie, or the mainstay of the Turtles, both East and West Coast versions).
The song itself, though, has been in the news lately:

First, the publishers of the song sued Ford Motor Company for using the tune in their commercials in Brazil and Argentina.

Then, some rap singer tried to use the song in a mix but, again, the band’s lawyers stopped him. Fortunately, the hip-hopper decided to cut the tune before it reached the “final-vinyl” stage.

And, lately, there’s been controversy as to the meaning of the song. While some see it as a love song, others say it’s one that had some subliminal sexual undertones.
The truth?? It’s a fantasy … a healthy one at that … about a guy wishing he could be with someone he has a crush on. That’s all. Nothing more, nothing less.

Finally, the man who co-wrote the tune — Alan Gordon (along with Garry Bonner) — died a week ago yesterday of cancer. He was just 64. Along with Garry, he penned other great Turtles hits like She’s My Girl, You Know What I Mean and the megahit She’d Rather Be With Me.

Okay … it’s short but sweet. But tune in tonight when The Relic gets up-to-speed and shares a little news about the return of The Electric Eagle! Until then …
see ya on the flip side!

Hey … wanna bid on a couple of cool-looking ‘66 Mustangs? They were used by Sonny & Cher in their movie Good Times … and these ‘his-and-her’ models are fully customized:

Sonny’s is done up in gold pearl with bobcat fur interior. Cher’s is hot pink pearl with white ermine and black leather interior.

They’re up for bids as a pair on February 6 at a celebrity car auction in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida. So don’t wait! Can you imagine the look on yer girl’s face when ya give her the keys to the ‘Stang that Cher drove? And you with Sonny’s to match??

And these both could be yours … if the price is right!!

SHOULD HE HAVE A STAMP?

A petition’s going around to have Sun Records’ famed owner Sam Phillips commemorated with a postage stamp in his honor! As of now, over 10,000 people have signed it — and, if enough signatures are gathered, the organizers will go to Washington, D. C. and present the petition to Congress.

Wanna get involved? Just click here and sign up!
For a change, it’ll be cool to send yer letters/bills and stuff with music!

Listen … changes are afoot, and The Relic’s extra busy with ‘em for the next twelve or so. But I’ll be back with more later this evening … so stay tuned! Until then …

See ya on the flip side!

Okay … before we begin, lemme take a moment to wish you all a happy, peaceful and full-bellied Thanksgiving today! You deserve it, right??

Now … on to business:

THIS “CADILLAC” WON’T NEED A “BAILOUT”:

You already know what I’m talkin’ about, right?? It’s a movie about the rise of Chess Records, which gave some of the best in stateside soul and rock their first major breaks.

Set in 1950s Chicago, the movie is authentic in its set and style that you can’t help feeling that you’re there, as these singers struggled to become stars! Now, for you who aren’t familiar, Chess Records was early home to some of the greats: bluesmasters Howlin’ Wolf, Muddy Waters and Muddy Waters as well as supreme rocker Chuck Berry.

You’ll have some fantastic music threaded throughout, of course, but what’s really amazing is the transformation of some of today’s top stars into those of yesterday. For example, you’ve got “Law and Order: Criminal Intent” star Eric Bogosian in the role of the payola-hampered DJ who had the first interracial rock-n-roll dance party, Alan Freed. There’s also hip-hopper Mos Def doing a splendid job as Chuck Berry; Cedric the Entertainer as blues legend Willie Dixon and many more!

But the one who steals the show is probably the greatest all-round female entertainer of this century so far (no, not Betty White. Read on …); in the role of famed blues belter, Etta James, you’ve got … Beyoncé!
In her role as the embattled blues queen, Ms. Knowles not only portrays Etta … she becomes her!

Oh … and look for an actor named Marc Bonan as a young Keith Richards (in the movie trailer, you can see him talking with Muddy Waters: “Mr. Waters. We’re big fans. We named our band after one of your songs.” to which Waters replies, “Yeah?” Richards tells him, “Rolling Stone”.

The story, itself, is riveting … but the actors came together as an ensemble that did the originals justice! But the best part of all is that it’s a true story!! And I guarantee you’ll leave the theater with a greater appreciation for Chess Records and the legends it helped create!

So, as we’re into the second hour, thirty-second minute (EST) of T’Day, let me … second hour, thirty-three minutes … wish you all again a Happy … second hour, thirty-awww,nevermind … Thanksgiving!  May it be the best one you’ve had all year!

See ya on the flip side!

Man, as if these car companies don’t have enough troubles, now Ford has to come up with another 200 Grand somehow!

That’s how much Mark Volman and Howie Kaylan (aka Flo and Eddie, aka The Turtles) have sued the auto makers for! Y’see, they used The Turtles’ classic hit, Happy Together, in TV commercials put together for broadcast in Brazil and Argentina — against the wishes of the madcap musicians!

And they oughtta get it … but, ummm, maybe not immediately (geez … havent’cha watched the news lately? They need to come up with 25 million just to stay afloat!). Now, unless (ahem!) “Ford has a better idea”, this is certain to become a court order. So they may wanna consider cuttin’ back on their padded expense accounts and try to work out something with Mark and Howie out-of court!

MICHAEL JACKSON/MIKAEEL SETTLES OUT-Of-COURT

Yep … he and the Sheik’s son finally came up with a satisfactory payoff that’ll keep the singer from havin’ to go to court. Natch, the court’s not sayin’ how much, but it’s alleged to be in-the-ballpark of what his … er, creditor … was asking. Stay tuned …

iTUNED BEATLES HAVE GOTTA WAIT!

Whoa! Before we start this segment, we’ve gotta take a mo’ to wish their former drummer, Pete Best, a HAPPY 67th BIRTHDAY!! Yup … the popular, fan-friendly (and still quite handsome) drummer was born Nov. 24, 1941 in Madras, India!

Now, the reigning mini-music-makers, iTunes, was to introduce the Beatles’ catalogue of music to eager listeners around the world — but ran into a snag:
The publishing giant EMI and The Beatles are apparently still having a few squabbles, and that’s holding up the negotiations.

But leave it up to Macca to try and make enough peace so the tunes can finally appear!
After he announced yesterday (Monday, 24 Nov) that the plans were stalled, he said, “I really hope it will happen because I think it should.”
So do millions of fans around the globe, Sir Paul!

MORE TOUR DATES OF YOUR FAVORITES

He … I kicked off this post with a bit about The Turtles — and they still play some of the most entertaining gigs you can find on the circuit! Now, when ya see Flo and Eddie fronting the band, remember: Unlike in the olden days, you’ve got two different sets of Turtles — the East Coast and West Coast bands! But when ya hear either band (both are still fronted by Mark and Howie), you’re hearin’ the same great, melodic and madcap rock the originals were noted for!
Wanna see ‘em in person? Just click here for their schedule!

And, man, if you don’t take in these two pandejos, you better check whatcher smokin’! ‘Cause you’ll be missin’ the legends of loco when they’re on tour at these venues!

Okay … that’s all for this edition! But stay tuned … there’s more to come tonight! So, until then …
I’ll see ya on the flip side!

A coupla posts back, we started talkin’ about how to get yer rock band started — then we got interrupted by news about Micha … er, MikAEEL — so let’s get back to the program, okay??

Now, you’re probably not gonna pull the crowds like ya see on your left at first, but with proper promotion (and a set of good, solid songs that you can perform without a hitch), you can eventually pull a fanbase like that!

As your band is just starting to perform, there are three forms of promotion you’ll wanna start with:

• WORD OF MOUTH — Friends, family and new fans who’ve heard and are impressed by your music can “get the word out” more effectively than anything else at this point. If they know of any parties, dances, get-togethers — even weddings and bar mitzvahs — coming up, ask them to recommend you!
• GET BUSINESS CARDS PRINTED and pass them out at every opportunity! Get these especially in the hands of club owners (providing you’re over 21, unless it’s a teen club), special-event staffs, and others who can hire you! Be sure to keep that portfolio we talked about … and keep it up-to-date! Include demo CD’s to give owners of possible venues; they’ll wanna know what you sound like!
• SING EVERYWHERE YOU POSSIBLY CAN — EVEN STREET-SIDE OR AT PUBLIC PARKS! This will give you more exposure and experience! From the legends of the British Invasion (who started as “skifflers”) to today’s popular bands like The Fore, they’ve all played the “streetside” gigs at first in order to build the fan-base foundation. And public parks are great because you have a roaming audience whose mindset is already on good times! A word of advice: If required, be sure to get permission from your town’s Parks and Rec commission before playing there! All it takes is a phone call in most cases …
• During your gig (and I’m talkin’ from set-up to final notes), BE ON YOUR BEST PERSONAL BEHAVIOR! This is important because it can determine whether you get more gigs or are shot down immediately by potential venues, promoters — and fans!

Once a band has a number of successful gigs under its belt, a strong fan-base and has begun to get noticed locally or regionally, it’ll select a manager to help ‘em move up the ladder of success (this is vital, especially when you’re beginning to get paid for performing)! At this juncture, we’re not talking full professional yet, so someone who has a mature organizational and financial head on his/her shoulders can work at this point.
Now, one of the mistakes that starting bands make is to hire a classmate, best friend or friend of a friend to manage them. Y’see, you want someone who’s already got a good track record in helping other acts! And that person needs to see you as a band … a sellable commodity … rather than individual friends from way-back. That way, they can work more to benefit your band as a whole.

Meanwhile, you can make use of your portfolio to do more promotions via the Internet! Get the band its own website (with its own “.com” or “.net” suffix. No subdomains if you can help it) so you can load up some of your demo tracks and pics. While you’re at it, open the band’s own MySpace site. You can also check with Google™ for widgets to build a sort of “jukebox” for your songs, include pics, and also build an EPK (meaning, electronic press kit) to send to promoters and venues by email (here’s a great place to build one!). Be sure to include a link to this on your site and MySpace™ page, too!

Now, we’ll come back to this after a couple of posts that’ll have more news, vids and new gig lists … so stay tuned! Until then …

see ya on the flip side!

Well, it’s supposedly true. After all, a UK tabloid reported it:

Man-of-a-thousand-songs (and-even-more-noses) Michael Jackson has apparently converted to Islam. He’s said to have done it at a ceremony held in Toto keyboardist Steve Porcaro’s home.
And, get this: He’s allegedly changed his name to Mikaeel! No word as to what his current nose is called …
Oh, yeah … and he’s still up for the megadollar lawsuit brought by Sheik Sheik Abdulla bin Hamad Al Khalifa for not fulfilling his contractual obligation to the Sheik’s record label (an album and book I believe).
Mike, come on!! You either gotta sheik yerbuti and get these things settled, or you’re liable to end up behind a Mickey D’s counter, sellin’ burgers with extra chee-heeeese!

IN OTHER NEWS …

Rod Stewart’s son, Sean, settled his lawsuit out-of-court this past Tuesday. Seems that some guy from L.A. sued him after an alleged attack outside a Hollywood bar two years ago. His legal troubles aren’t over, though. The day before the settlement, he was sued again — this time by his former personal trainer for unpaid bills (to the tune of $3800!).
This kid’s got the same problem that many other celebkids do: he thinks he’s hot because his mom or dad are!
Relic sez: get a LIFE! Bein’ a rock star’s son doesn’t make you special!
Do yerself a favor: Get a REAL job! Wanna stand on yer own? Go ANONYMOUS! Do yer homework on the real world, sonny … ’cause I’m not buyin’ yer undeserved “fame” game …

Annnnnnd Gary Glitter’s lawyer was in London court today, appealing an order that requires the pervert to let police know of his foreign travel plans. No need to discuss this further, right? He ain’t gonna get it …

MORE VENUES OF THE LEGENDS

If yer rock tastes run Soul Deep, with music sung to The Letter, then you’ll wanna know the original Boxtops are still together! Now, their tour page is kinda sparse, but chalk that up to a recently-completed album and a successful tour already! But you’ll find some interesting .PDFs on-board their tour page!

And for you folk-rockers who couldn’t get enough of the Summer Song (which pretty much became a Teenage Lament), you’ll wanna take in one of Chad & Jeremy’s performances when they appear near you in the ‘09! These guys sound just as fresh and soulful as they did in the Sixties!

Pssst … wanna do somethin’ special For Your Love? Take her/him and a Heart Full of Soul to wherever you find The Yardbirds playing!
You heard me: the famed group that invented the rave-up (or extended jam session) are together again, with originals Chris Dreja and Jim McCarty on-board. Now, primarily, they’re playing the UK, France and Europe at this writing, but who knows? They might just pull some gigs over here in the U.S. soon!

Well, that’s it for this edition. But stay tuned … there’s more to come this evening. Until then …
I’ll see ya on the flip side!

Okay … so ya know how to play guitar; you’ve got a few friends who know how to pound the drums or hit some decent notes on a keyboard.  And you’ve all gotten together with the intention of makin’ some noize as a decent rock and roll band.

Well, that’s the impression I got when a youngster from Arizona wrote and asked, “Now we want to rock.  Can u give us any advise (sic) in getting started?”

Okay, Rick (since I’ve plugged tonight’s post with ya already),  get yer pad and pencil ready; you’re gonna wanna take notes:

First of all, be sure that each member is “on the same page.”  You’ve not only gotta get along with each other, but you’ve all gotta agree 100% on the choice of music you play. Whether you’re into alternative, metal, synth, pop or any other, you’ve gotta decide which type you‘re gonna hit the audiences with!

The next step is to get everyone together (assuming your instruments are all in good shape) and start practicing what’s called cover songs — tunes that have already been recorded by your faves, and you’re familiar with ‘em.  This’ll give you a chance to see how all the members blend together; to work out a specific sound.

Now, once you’ve done that, set specific days and times of the week (and place, makin’ sure it’s one where your music won’t disturb the neighbors; in some areas, it’s the law, man …), and practice, practice, PRACTICE!!
Get at least a list of ten songs (what we call a “set”) that you can master.  Again, let these be cover songs to begin with, since they’re easier and will get your fans familiar with your sound.

Now, when ya think you’re ready to showcase yer stuff, the best way to “get your feet wet” in live performing is to invite as many friends as possible over for a quick get-together and show.  After the to-do, be sure to ask around for their honest opinion.
And listen — if someone’s got a video cam or audio recorder, get ‘em to record your band!  Not only can you fine-tune yourselves that way, but the recording is gonna be the start of a portfolio (which many larger venues and labels will wanna see as time goes on)!

Next up:  The promotional side; it’s where you’re gonna get your GIGS!  And what to do AT those appearances ….

So, until tomorrow night …
see ya on the flip side!!

It’s been said that there’s only one band that actually bridged the gap from the popular “BritRock” to intense, intricate heavy sounds (not necessarily metal, but that was influenced by them) …

and that was Led Zeppelin. (agree? disagree? lemme know …)

When they started out as The New Yardbirds, nobody actually looked at them as the fabric from which many subsequent rock bands would be patterned (in fact, it was Pete Townshend of The Who who told them they’d go over like a “lead Zeppelin” … thus, their legendary name-change …)

Over the years, they hit the rock world between the eyes with some of the deepest, most memorable heavy-rock sounds (and lyrics) imaginable. But, who actually made LZ the supergroup it became?? And did they, in fact, actually create the bridge I mentioned?

Some say it was Robert Plant — the unmistakable tenor terror who could make us feel any emotion the song called for — that built the band into a legend; others say Jimmy Page, the guitarist who was from the original Yardbirds, who played (and still does) with remarkable skill and ease! Still others swear it was the wild drumming of John “Bonzo” Bonham.

But, according to an earlier poll I took (back in Spring of ‘07), it was one song — a tune that had everything necessary to bring rock-n-roll to another dimension; s track that became one of the most covered guitar-based songs in the world:

With 10,526,525 hits on YouTube® alone, here’s Stairway To Heaven:

So, again, I ask:  Am I right or wrong?  Who do you think really bridged the gap?? (Yes, it can be more than one!)  Write or comment and let’s hear your thoughts, okay?

Til then, see ya on the flip side!

Yup … been one of those days …

But, while waitin’ for the ticker to warm up again, I decided to take on the Bong Brothers – ie, those hilarious heroes of the “herb”, Cheech and Chong. They’ve got a big roast comin’ up in Vegas next year (and that town’s gonna be high as a kite by the time Tommy Chong and Cheech Marin take the dais that night!), and I wanted to do a little 411 on ‘em before they invade …

Y’see, for all their madcap-but-laidback misadventures, these two have actually taught us all somethin’! Here’s what I mean:

• First, Cheech was one of the first comedians of Hispanic origin who actually broke the stereotype of his race in comedy! I mean, when C&C were “on”, didja dig the humor? The joints and bongs? Their crazy, “don’t-give-a-xxxx” attitude (which led to even more craziness)? Or didja concentrate more on Marin’s race?
  See what I mean? He took the focus off the racial thing and put it into the comedy! He didn’t ride a donkey, wear a sombrero, drink Tequila or come in to mariachi music … he was just downright funny!
  
• Both he and Tommy taught us a no-holds-barred, invaluable lesson:
  Don’t take life so damned seriously!!
  Look … we obviously don’t need the weed to get high or kick up a bit. We can feel good on our own. But, with all the sour news and biased views, we can find ourselves living in a negative, paranoiac style that brings everybody down! While Jim Morrison once said about life, no one gets out of here alive!, the gonzo duo of Cheech Marin and Tommy Chong reminds us to enjoy it. Don’t let it get the upper-hand on you …. instead, you control it (at least as far as your own personal life goes).

WHERE YOU CAN FIND ‘EM (pt. I)

If you’re not familiar with Cheech and Chong (if not, that must’ve been one helluva church camp ya went to for 20+ years!), then get with the PROgram, mannnnn! They’ve got their very own site right there behind those blue words!
And, for added benefit, why not roll up to one of their Light Up, America tour stops? (Hey … get this:  This Saturday, they’re flyin’ into Berkeley for a show.  Now, I don’t know if they’re usin’ a plane or not, but … BERKELEY??  Home of the doobie??  Now, that oughtta be a gas …)

ALL KIDDING ASIDE … HERE’S THE SHOCKING TRUTH BEHIND THE PRIVATE LIVES OF THESE TWO UPSTANDING GENTLEMEN:

Yeah … like I’m gonna tell ya that!  

Instead, to give ya some C&C in yer head, check out this vid:

Okay, yardbirds … get over to their site (includin’ the tour area) and check ‘em out!  And I’ll see ya on the flip side …

In case yer wonderin’, that line (and part of this blog’s new theme) came from the original Good News Week by the UK band, Hedgehoppers Anonymous. Now, I said, “original” because, in the first versions, the second and last verses included the lines There’s lots of revelation now/they’re chopping up the sacred cow/ they’ve got a lot to eat. In later versions, it had to do with birth control.

Huh? Beats me why they changed ‘em. But, if you’ve got their 1966 hit with the original verse, trust me: you’ve got a rarity on yer hands (btw, the song was written by Jonathan King, singer/songwriter who’s gotten publicity recently as a convicted sex offender!)

Anyway, that’s the story behind the headline here … so let’s go on:

MICHAEL JACKSON … SUED AGAIN?!?

Uh-huh … but, this time, the papers are courtesy Sheik Abdulla bin Hamad Al Khalifa (aka son of the King of Bahrain!). The tune’s $7 million, and it’s because the Gloved One didn’t do the album he promised when he signed with Al Kalifa’s label!
Listen … ummm, Mike? Uh … screwin’ up here in America is one thing, but … but do ya really wanna rip off an Arab king’s son? Dude, you’d better give it up now …

BEATLEMANIACS ARE GEARIN’ UP FOR THIS …

but, because it’s been covered elsewhere, lemme just give you the link, okay? It’s deffo headline material:
READ THE STORY HERE.

DON’T CUSS OUT YER CASSETTE YET!

With this economic crunch hittin’ everybody like a ton of bricks (including CD manufacturers), rockers are clamorin’ for something they can use to record their faves rather than hittin’ the stores for high-priced discs.
Know what they’re turnin’ to? Yep … the handy little audio cassettes. Now, for a few years, The Relic’s said these were gonna make a comeback due to the (ahem!) economy … and he was right!
They’re portable, easy-to-use, easier-to-manufacture, lightweight, compact … so why not??
BUT …
here’s a little “heads-up”: If ya still wanna rock with the silver discs, you’ll wanna get your copy of Run and Hide by The Fore! It’s got the Mersey/Hamburg rock, ballads, the best harmony this side of the Everly Brothers … and they’re quite affordable! Just click their site for more …

SIA-ing is BELIEVE-ing

For you yardbirds who’ve written in and wanted to know about the unusual singer on the David Letterman show a coupla nights ago, here y’are: Her name is Sia Kate Isobelle Furler (formerly with the group Zero 7 and simply known as Sia) and is an Australian songbird with quite an extensive recording/performing history already (she’s only 33!).
What you saw during her performance on Letterman was legit: She actually was “that thrilled” to have the national TV exposure (she almost came across as a starstruck fan, didn’t she?). And those “hand gestures”? It was modified sign language (and ya don’t see that often!).
This young lady’s got a great future still ahead of her … and her sound is very reminiscent of the Lulus and Cillas of the past …

Now … who’s up for giglists?
If ya see your fave band here, just click on the link to find out where they’re playing:
The Searchers (the superband who was second only to The Beatles in the Invasion!)
The Fore (the savage Hamburg/Merseybeat mixed with the best rock sounds imaginable!)
The Manfreds (same band, without Manfred Mann himself)
Bowzer’s Rock and Roll Party (with Jon “Bowzer” Bauman of Sha-Na-Na. The ultimate rock party!!)
The Offbeats (this US band is amazing in its sound, its rhythm, its covers … and its fan-friendliness!)

I’ll be adding more in a few clicks … but, for now, that’s it on this side of the trax. So be sure to TELL YOUR FRIENDS where they can pick up the best rock news, views and more …
and I’ll see ya on the flip side!