the Rock Report

Geez … and just when ya thought Bob Dylan had run out of ideas:

Yesterday, while doing his BBC radio program in London, Bob Dylan admitted …

(now, wait! First, I wantcha to remember the way Dylan sounded during his musical heyday. Breathy voice, indecipherable lyrics, loads of slurred notes …)
Okay … ya ready?? Then let me go back and get a running start at that sentence again:

Yesterday, while doing his BBC radio program in London, Bob Dylan admitted he’d like to be the voice of a GPS navigation system!
Can you imagine it?
“Nawwww, THAT ain’t where it’s at!*” “Don’t you understand, it’s not my problem?*” or, as he says himself, “Left at the next street. No, right. You know what? Just go straight.”
Now, he says that two auto makers have approached him to do it, but Bob admitted, “I probably shouldn’t do it because whichever way I go, I always end up at one place — on Lonely Avenue.”
(* Both verses from Positively 4th Street, from the album Highway 61 Revisited and the “B” side of the single, Like A Rolling Stone)

BUT … GOING ‘ROUND IN CIRCLES??

Yep … that’s what a recent journal of Biology has said!
Apparently, without using the sun or some other static object as a “compass” when walking in unfamiliar territory (even in the woods), humans tend to go in circles!

And, sans any static “reference point,” it says the next best thing is a hand-held compass … or a GPS …

which brings us back to Dylan. Let’s say you’re out in the woods, completely lost. You’re a bit worried, night’s falling, you’ve gotta get back to the house by dinnertime. No static reference points, no sunlight … but you do have a GPS!
As you begin to feel relieved, ya reach into your pocket for the gadget and turn it on …
Just to hear Bob Dylan tell you “gotta ‘gosheayt yer RIIIIITE, ‘n nen ya turn wheh Mistuh JONEZZZZ hangz is HAAAATan’ den HE c’n teh ya … wurr itzAAAAAT”.

You sit down and cry … and wait for the inevitable copter search …

Here are other candidates for the GPS voice:  The Byrds (Turn! Turn! Turn!), John Wayne (Ah don’t … give uh damn witch way ya turn.  Jus’ turn this rig!), US Army Drill Sergeant Tapia, (Left, Right, Left, Right, Laaaay-UFT!), Woody Allen (I … I just … uh, I don’t know this place mySELFahhh … I was … I mean, I was … kinda hopin’ … like, YOU … would, uh, y’know)  or (especially after Woody was done) Country Joe and the Fish, (Whoop-eeee, we’re all gonna die!).

Or we could just use a friggin’ map like everybody else does ..

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