the Rock Report

Hard to find these days, but, when you do, it sorta makes your mouth water even before you dig in.
No, I’m not talkin’ about sex (sigh!) … I’m talkin’ tostadas, man (at least for now …)

Here’s why:

Awhile back, in the back pages of an old, dusty Sanskrit manuscript that I found hidden in the top shelf of my library, Ye Untolde Saga of Rocque and Rolle, there was an interesting tidbit.  After removing it (it was part of that Archway cookie I lost last Christmas), I read a question posed to early performers by some obscure TV anchorman:

What do you do onstage to keep from getting stage fright?

Natch, that means so you won’t freeze up on the vocals or guitars, etc.  It was almost uninaninimouse:  The performers would think of something pleasant — something to look forward to after the show, for example — first.

One club singer said, I think of my girl, and how she’s waiting for me to come home.  She’ll have a hot meal and also some hot kisses waiting at the door.  Which is nice.  But a hot meal waiting at the door is an open invitation to every cat in the house to eat it before ya get there.

Another said:  A nice, hot cup of the finest coffee, two sugars, one cream.  I suppose “shaken, not stirred”.  Still another, You can’t tell if there’s an impresario in the audience.  I want to impress the hell outta him.

But the kicker was the young rocker who said:  Beefy tostadas.  I dunno, maybe he was doing a Tex-Mex act.  Nonetheless, they all had a valid point.

Look ahead of your gig … check the waters beyond, and give yourself something to look forward to after the show.  Score points toward the big reward by pulling your best set out, dusting it off, and doing it like you mean it!
Then, after the show’s over and the last fan’s gone … go out and enjoy!

Another question (being a mid-’70s, post-Watergate publication, it was after the ad for that deodorant that says it’s working but has its own agenda to cover up the tell-tale odours.  It was called Nix-On …) was How do you face the audience without being afraid?

Some said they looked just above eye level, checking the fans’ foreheads instead of their expressions.  Worked well with everyone except Manson followers.
Others?  We just imagine everyone sitting there in their underwear.  I believe this trick folded when mothers-in-law were invited to gigs …

John Lennon had a great concept on handling audiences:  “They’re out there, and they’re me, and I’m them, and she’s he, and he’s her and we’re all together.”  And, if we’re all together, we’ve got nothin’ to worry about, right??

Okay, the quarter’s up (actually, I still had some minutes left from the last one), so just remember to tune in tomorrow for more musical madness.  I’ll see ya on the flip side!

Ahhhh, November!  Along with the leaves, pumpkins and cooler weather, this week brings some of the most interesting memories in rock history:

5 November 1954 — Elvis Presley actually did a radio commercial — the only one he ever made, in fact. The product?? What else?: It was for Southern-Made Doughnuts, and was broadcast on the Louisiana Hayride radio program.

On 1 November, one year later, a local R&B group called The Famous Flames, led by an energetic and very soulful young singer named James Brown, cut their first demo called “Please, Please, Please”.  Recorded at a radio station in Macon, Georgia, it got the attention of King Records, which jumped at the chance to sign ‘em!

On that same date in 1957, Buddy Holly and The Crickets hit #1 on the UK singles chart — and stayed there for three weeks — with their biggest hit “That’ll Be The Day”.

Two days later brought the release of “Great Balls of Fire” by Jerry Lee Lewis. It turned out to be his biggest hit (now, who doesn’t know that??), and hit the musical trifecta, coming in at number two on the Billboard Pop chart, number three on the R&B and number one on the Country and Western chart.

Now, the fifth of November, 1960, added an eerie slant to this rundown as the C&W legend (back then, it was still called “country and western music”, btw) Johnny Horton (he did Battle of New Orleans, North to Alaska and a double-E fave, a cover of Ray Charles’ Busted) died (his Cadillac was hit by a drunken trucker in Milano, Texas).
What was so weird about that? Well, Johnny had just played his last show at the Skyline in Austin, where Hank Williams had played his last show (remember: Hank was found dead in his Caddy seven years earlier).
Oh … I almost forgot to add that Johnny Horton’s widow, Billy Jo, was also Hank Williams’ widow!

The folk/protest movement began blowin’ in the wind when the inimitable Bob Dylan played his first gig on November 4, 1961. It was at the Carnegie Chapter Hall in New York City, and only drew an audience of about 50 (most of them were Dylan’s friends).

Of course, there’s more — but, since I’ve gotta get to work in about an hour, lemme close off this post with the Fillmore West. Rock impresario Bill Graham opened the legendary venue in San Francisco to complement the original Fillmore East in New York. Now, it was this gig that launched the careers of the “hippie/yippie” bands (well, that’s what they were called by mainstreamers and Republicans! lol) like The Jefferson Airplane, The Grateful Dead, Big Brother and The Holding Company and others.
Y’know, while that “mainstream” America thumbed their noses at the Haight-Asbury phenoms, it might do ‘em well to realise that many of these acts helped maintain the rock continuity between The Beatles and today’s music.

Okay … ’nuff said; my quarter’s about run out. Now … if I don’t get to work, I ain’t gonna have one for the next show later tonight. So …
I’ll see ya on the flip side …

Well, yeah … according to the Q Awards, Marianne Faithfull is considered a living icon (they named her that after saying she has an “enduring influence upon the music world”).Oooooookayyyy … if you say so ….IMHO, the lady is one helluva survivor … no, make that winner in life’s field.  I mean, without question, has had more than her share of bad bumps in the road whilst traveling this musical highway:  drugs, booze, Jagger, breast cancer, hepatitis C, and more.   And, granted, her voice needs just a bit of dusting off — after all, ya can’t go through all that she has and come out without at least a little wear-and-tear.  

But … icon??  Just because she’s gone through hell and back, continued to make albums and fill some great gigs and come back on the charts with Easy Come, Easy Go, and …

Come to think of it … she is!!   But as far as being an “enduring influence”?  When ya look at the likes of Carrie Underwood, Joss Stone, Imogen Heap, Taylor Swift,  Adele … and … hear … how … they …

Okay … I stand corrected …

WINEHOUSE MISSES THE MARK

At the same show, our fave rehab occupant, Amy “I-Live-My-Last-Name” Winehouse, was supposed to present an award to The Specials (Q Inspiration Award) but … in true AW fashion … missed her cue twice.

Not to worry, though … she eventually turned up on stage … after the band had accepted their award!

Now, like Marianne in her hey-day, this woman does have a decent, sorta-sultry voice.  But unlike Ms. Faithfull, this Wine House refuses to leave behind all the crap that’s screwing her up! 
It’s already cost her a marriage, jail and rehab time, and thousands of fans who are pretty much saying “When you’ve come to yer senses, look us up.  We’re over in the (Heap, Underwood, etc.) camp now …”

One more thing I noticed:  Spandau Ballet won the award for “Q Idols”  – even though they’ve just recently reunited after a 20-year hiatus!  From what I’ve been hearing, though, their stage presence hasn’t rusted a bit … and their songs are still as fresh as they were in 1989!

Okay … my quarter’s just about up (and so is my lunch break), so I’ll see ya in about 24!  Yeah, it’s on the …
FLIP SIDE!

So ya dig classic rock, huh??
Well, ya oughtta meet the creatures that inhabit this info superhighways’ fave rock oasis, a Sixties-and-beyond-and-before rock forum called, appropriately, Rock-Talk!

Now, you’ll not only get to talk oldies and more, but you’ll be able to listen to them through their “jukebox” page.  And dig this:  It’s the first actual community (not just names on a screen; these folks actually become your friends if you approach them gently and feed them right. lol) I’ve ever been involved with (and this bird has been around the pike a few times)!

Oh … and, after ya join, be sure to check out the tracks from the man who wrote some of the Dave Clark Five’s greatest hits and introduced Jimi Hendrix’s drummer to rock, Ron Ryan!  In fact, in the main forum, you’ll be able to talk a bit with him!

The membership is free, btw, and it doesn’t matter if yer a guy, a gal or a Martian: just come on over and check it out!

THE FORE TO (sorta) DOUBLE??

Well, not exactly (that is, as far as the band itself), but there are a few “additions” that require some serious and happy congrats and props:

First, to superstar guitarist Matt Hardy (center, on the Rickenbacker) , as he and his lovely wife are expecting their second child soon!  (Y’know, it proves the flexibility of math:  When two people get together, it shows that “1+1=2″.  But, when the lady luv gets in “the family way”, it shows that “1+1=1″!  [Think about it])  Anyway, Matt and Victoria, your children are just as blessed to have you as parents as you are to have them as your own!

And the band’s fearless leader (and amazing bassist and songwriter), Spencer Hannabuss, has just announced his engagement to the lovely Natalie (sorry, ladies!  But she is a treasure, and they complement each other so much …).  Hope they have a zillion years together in happiness and love …

BEHIND THE SCENES …

There are a lotta things happening over here in RockCentral, and even more great things going on in The Fore camp!  It’s a pleasure working with these lads (who’ve just come back from their respective holidays), and their star just continues to rise in the worldwide skies of rock …
Speakin’ of holidays:  I want to send out a special and heartfelt wish for the good health and recovery of the lady Annette.  She’s wife of Fore manager Neil, and, whilst he was away, she suffered a nasty fall.  With her hubby at side now, though, she’s recuperating well.  Still, keep her in yer thoughts and prayers, okay?

Me?  Gotta get off here for awhile.  My quarter’s about to run out …
See ya on the flip side …

Man, I dunno about you, but I really admire Bruce Springsteen.  He’s sorta taken center-stage as America’s “working class hero”, and has worked just about every type of gig in his career.

The Boss’ first big gig was years ago when superstar Anne Murray brought him onstage as support act.  Before that, though, he was honestly thinkin’ of packing it in (musically), thanks to a promoter who thought his last name was Springsong.  

Anyway, he’s gonna be playin’ the 25th anniversary concert for the Rock Hall of Fame tonight (Thursday) — three days after the death of his cousin (and assistant road manager) Chris Sullivan. Bruce was to play Kansas City on Monday night but cancelled when Chris was found dead in his hotel room there. According to police, there doesn’t appear to be any foul-play, drugs or whatever involved.
Obviously, we send our heartfelt condolences to Bruce, the team and Chris’ family …

But while Bruce is playing the show, another big star has backed out. Eric Clapton will be recovering at home in England after gall bladder surgery, so he won’t be making his scheduled Friday evening appearance. But another Yardbirds’ mate, Jeff Beck, will take Eric’s place on the bill that night.

Two more hit-makers have also had to take a bite outta their schedule:  Elton John had to cancel both his Sheffield and Newcastle shows due to a serious bout of the flu (I understand they will be rescheduled, though), and Rod Stewart — who was supposed to be on the stateside gabfest The View this past Tuesday — had to cancel due to a viral infection.  He’ll probably pop up on one a bit later (btw, he was dynamite on the new Jay Leno Show recently.  Did an old Four Tops number, (It’s The) Same Old Song.

WAS LED ZEPPELIN TO RE-FORM?

According to the RockFeed, yes!  Jimmy Page, John Paul Jones and the late Bonzo Bonham’s son, Jason, were pulling together some material as they tried to decide who would take former lead singer Robert Plant’s place.
Verdict:  Since no one seemed to fit the bill, John went on with the new “supergroup”, Them Crooked Vultures (with Josh Homme and Dave Grohl).  Still, they did try, so, for just a little while, we had some hope …

THE FORE ON NEW BEATNIK GEEK LABEL!

Just got word from the home office that Spencer, Matt, Si and Nathan — collectively known as The Fore — are now one of the anchor signings on the new Beatnik Geek record label! The band is wildly popular throughout the UK and, now officially with the label, their stars are gonna soon be shining here in America as well as they have in Europe!
Keep watching this blog for more frequent updates …

But, for now, we’re gonna take a short break for a few hours’ zzzzz’s, so I’ll see ya tomorrow … on the flip side!

It’s one of those weird shows that makes ya think “hmmm … why didn’t they think of this for real?”

But it’s actually a 38-minute run through the fantasies of every Democrat  (or whoever disagrees with the shi. … er, mess … that the Bush Administration left us with). 

Created by Roger Rudenstein, this romp (which would almost suit a Monty Python episode) takes the former Prez and his sidekick, Cheney (or wuz it the other way around??  I forget …) through a trial conducted by my ex-wife’s father (the Devil) along with the Grand Inquisitor (not to be confused with the Grand Poobah, who’s still torturing souls with Flintstones) and (of all people!) Angelina Jolie (now, the blurb I had said her part was played by a lookalike … ‘course, they’ve gotta be kiddin’, ’cause noooobody looks like Angelina [well, except for that strange bagboy down at m’ local grocer’s]).

Now, if ya wanna (I kinda like that pic to yer right … somehow, it just … seems … fairrrrr!) as I was sayin’:  If ya wanna get a free shot of the trial (meaning, you can download it for free!), just go here and dig in!
BTW, if you want some really hilarious stuff, be sure to register for their updates …

NOW … ON TO OTHER THINGS

Ireland’s legendary rockers, the Cranberries, have reunited and will be performing at The Electric Factory in Philadelphia, Riviera Theatre in Chicago, and Club Nokia in Los Angeles soon.  I don’t have the dates yet, but, undoubtedly, the fans are in for some great shows!  Let’s just hope they keep it together this time, huh?

And the remaining members of Wolfmother have announced a huge world tour in support of their upcoming new album Cosmic Egg.  The Australian-based Heavy Metal revivalists hit U.S. stages in Austin, Texas and Los Angeles, California, then take it overseas to Glasgow, Scotland.

ONE MORE THING:  In keeping with the renovations goin’ on, you’ll find the double-E chained to … er, behind the desk at the newly-renamed ForeWord Enterprises.  What was PressOne has changed to reflect the two parts of my career:  U.S. Press Officer for the dynamite UK band The Fore, and a journalist who … well, who’s rather wordy!

Anyway, more about that later. 

Check ya on the flip side tomorrow, okay??

Look, I know they’re legends by now, but, though the BonoBand U2 is selling out their shows whilst on this new 360 tour, they haven’t even broken even yet, despite strong ticket prices.

The reason?? Naaah … it’s got nothin’ to do with the economy. Y’see, their manager (Paul McGuinness) says the band’s expenses are running about … $750,000 a day! Yup: every single everlovin’ day they’re on the road with this gig! That evens out to about $31,000 every hour!

But the guys aren’t headin’ for the McDonald’s value menus yet! McGuinness says they’ll be break even before the end of the U.S. side of their tour, and believes they’ll be makin’ a gross rev of about $300 million before the last notes are played.

And what’s up with the sudden cancellation of the rest of Def Leppard’s North American tour? I know the band says it’s due to “unforeseen personal matters”.
According to a statement from the band, “[W]e don’t take cancelling shows lightly, but unfortunately life’s commitments need to be the priority.”

Y’know, if that’s for real, I can understand. Let’s face it –the band’s been around since 1977 (formed from a band called Atomic Mass). They’re all nearly 40 years old now (lead singer Joe Elliot hit it in August), have families and matters of their own, and, considering their schedules, just may need the break to tie it all in together and do some TCB with TLC.

Orrrrr …

It could be just obstinence … or band problems. After all, the third leg of their tour was supposed to begin yesterday, and I’ve been told ticket holders for the 22 Oct date can get refunds. But that means the cancelled dates won’t be rescheduled, and that means possible internal trouble with the band in some way.
We’ll just have to wait and see …

FOLLOWUP: As reported earlier, Peter Criss, former drummer with the legendary KISS, was treated for breast cancer that was discovered a year ago. Fortunately, he beat it (meaning he’s in remission, obviously) … but is ready to spread the word that this cancer isn’t just a woman’s issue! He told a CNN reporter that just maybe a wife or partner will hear his story, nudge their spouse or mate and say, “Honey, maybe you oughtta go and get that check-up!” Pete went further and said it didn’t matter if only five or six men in America had it … he was speaking up to help them.
Totally friggin’ fantastic, mate! Wish other guys had your moxie …

Oh … he’s already got a name for the book he’d write about his experience. Criss says he’d call it … “Rock Knockers” (what else??).

Now … gotta head out on this rainy Friday mornin’ to get some more supplies, but stay tuned: I’ll be back in less than 24 with more. So, until then, remember:
keep yer eyes on the skies, your feet on the ground, your heart with the music …
and I’ll see ya on the flip side!

Someone once told me, “It ain’t the amount of stuff that hits the fan that gets to ya, but the size of the fan itself.”

Over the past coupla weeks, there’s been a lady who’s been bent on pluckin’ the feathers outta the Eagle’s hide … and it’s cost me in time, money, headaches and more!  Not to mention a bit of legal dealings to stabilize my own holdings

(DAMN!!  After all this, I’m wonderin’ if it wasn’t the Clarkster in disguise!  Naaah … she’s a woman, which means she ain’t got no … hmmm … maybe it was him, after all … anyway …) word up:  there are readers who already know who I’m talkin’ about.  The rest of you can email me if ya want in on it …

Anyway, fortunately, the fan was bigger than the poop thrown (she was also wantin’ to tax — or stop — my work.  And there ain’t no way in hell that’s gonna happen!  Makes me wanna rock it even harder!)  So, now … the trouble’s behind me, the smoke’s cleared and I’m still stadnin’, and back online with regular, everyday madnes … er, posts … like it usedta — and still oughtta — be!!  So (okay … maybe just a leeeetle wobbly … that shoulda read “standin’” …) let’s do it:

GETTIN’ BACK TO THE BIZ AT HAND

The new noms for the Songwriters Hall of Fame (Class of 2010) were announced this past Saturday, and, amongst the writers/performers, Dion, David Gates, Tommy James, John Cougar Mellencamp, Lou Reed, Leon Russell, Cat Stevens (finally!) and Earth, Wind & Fire. (I still don’t get it; I know these are all American writers/performers, but … look, if anyone deserves to be in the Songwriters’ HoF, it’s Ron Ryan!

But, amongst the writers, you’ve got Tommy Boyce and Bobby Hart, Jackie DeShannon and Joe South (somehow, the SHoF forgot that these all performed at one time), as well as Mark James (”Suspicious Minds”), Luther Dixon (”Soldier Boy”) and the teams of Jerry Ragavoy and Bert Burns (”Twist & Shout”) and Paul Vance and Neil Pockriss (”Itsy Bitsy Bikini” … a song inspired by Paul seeing his three-year-old daughter in a “IBTWYPD Bikini” for the first time!).

Two performers and three non-performers are gonna be chosen and they’ll be announced early next year.

STAMPING IT OUT

One more quick woid: England, yer gonna have some new postal stamps coming your way in January! “Let It Bleed” by the Rolling Stones, “Led Zeppelin IV,” “Ziggy Stardust” from David Bowie and Mike Oldfield’s “Tubular Bells” are classic album covers destined to become stamps from Britain’s Royal Mail on 7 January 2010 (there’ll be ten album stamps in all!). Not guaranteed to get yer mail to its destination any quicker than regular stamps, but … hey, it’ll work better than if ya used none at all, right??

Well, that’s all the time we have on this edition. But stay tuned … we’ve got new lights and a coffee machine in the nearly-cat-free RockRoom (I did say “nearly”, right?) and will be back here later this evening with more …
So I’ll see ya on the flip side …

Awww, I knew the day would come sometime …

This weekend, whilst trying to fend off this (fortunately only the) seasonal flu, a run to m’ local grocer brought out a very irate rapper-wannabe, who came down hard on my cuts on electronic sound-enhancements like the dreaded Auto-Tune and computerized loops.

When he said (and I nearly quote): “You ain’t never done it on stage, so how you know what it’s like, man?? We makin’ the sound, man, and the bxxxxs dig it!”

Well, first of all, “man,” I’ve been on stages, big and small (the largest venue was in Charlotte, about 10 grand at the time. The smallest? About 30 children at a birthday “sock hop”).

Secondly, I take the word of a Byrd over the palaver of a musical cadaver: In 1967, the leader of famed rockers The Byrds, Jim McGuinn (known as “Roger” since 1921), said that if you wanna know how good a band/act is, unplug ‘em (obviously, this does not apply to Keith Richard, who, if unplugged, would just stand there …). That way, if they can (no, I meant the man … not the guitar …) still sing/perform (albeit acoustically) and wow a crowd, they deserve the biggest breaks and fan bases.

Ahhhh, but if you need one (or more) of those little headaches on yer right in order to do a show, you’re sunk, IMHO (me, not Jim … er, Roger … talkin’ here. Still a Byrd-brain, though …). You’ve gotta alter your voice, your sound doesn’t come outta yer amps or from your guitar licks but from some weird machine that chews it up and spits it out differently — in other words, you do a 360, musically-tantric Milli Vanilli!

And don’t think yer “fame” is gonna last, either. Back-in-the-day (and still with The Fore and other top young rock acts), the acts WORKED for their sound … their gigs … their balance. The money was small at first, if it was there at all.
Fortunately, all the work and devotion paid off for quite a few of them. And, today, they’re true legends of the music world.

But, man, to think that one simple glitch in your computerized, synthesized and hardly-homogenized nonsense can take ya down! It just doesn’t add up!
And whilst acts like The Searchers, Rolling Stones, Paul McCartney and The Fore are rockin’ the bejabbers outta the world (the first three I mentioned have been doin’ it for nearly fifty years, all told), your act ain’t gonna do squat if you don’t get serious and get some serious blood, tears, toil and sweat into building that act.

Huh??? Yeah, I did tell him all that. Didn’t set well at first, but he was unarmed and … I mean, he understood where I was coming from. In fact, he’s sending me a demo of one of his unaltered rap songs, just to prove he can do it.

I’m not really into rap, and am involved as US Press Agent for The Fore (a gig I really enjoy!) … but, tell ya what: If I can get clearance from this artist, I’ll share the demo with ya and get your feedback …

More in a bit. See ya on the flip side …

Man, after what’s been happenin’ in the gig world lately, I dare anyone to say ‘rock is dead’.
We’ve seen (and are seeing) a wealth of Seventies and Eighties’ superstars get back together for some solid stagetime!

Check these out when they pull a venue near you:

1970s Hitmakers That Have Re-Formed:

The Eagles (no, they’re still not speaking to each other!); Fleetwood Mac (without Christine — and Sheryl Crow blew her chance at joining);
Mott The Hoople, Kiss, Van Halen, Little Feat (without the late Lowell George), Thin Lizzy (without the late Phil Lynnot), Foreigner (with only one original member), Queen (of course, without the late Freddie Mercury) and Roxy Music (occasionally).

And those are just some of the more famous ones! Now, since the late 70s showed an increase in punk activity on the Rock-O-Monitor, here are some of those who’ve rejoined to raise the proverbial roof:

Squeeze, The Blockheads (without Ian Dury, obviously), The Slits, The Buzzcocks, Blondie (and Debbie sounds just as delicious as she was back-in-the-day), Stiff Little Fingers, The Pretenders,The Boomtown Rats,The Sex Pistols (occasionally, but trust me; they’ve lost a lot of their verve lately)

Now, let’s not leave out the 80s bands that have reformed:

Echo & The Bunnymen, Gang Of Four, Madness, The Specials, PIL, B-52s (hopin’ they left their Rock Lobster at home. And didja catch their rendition of Love Shack with, of all acts, the “country” duo of Sugarland on the CMA Awards?? Frightening!!), Altered Images, Ultravox, ABC, Spandau Ballet, Duran Duran, Bananarama, Kid Creole, Heaven 17, China Crisis, Go West, T’Pau (yep … From Head To Toe), Kajagoogoo,
Flock of Seagulls, James, The Jesus And Mary Chain, The Pixies and Happy Mondays (to name a few).

BANDS WHO REUNITED TEMPORARILY DURING THE PAST YEAR

The Stooges, Led Zeppelin, Genesis, The Police, Magazine and Young Marble Giants

So, apparently, reunions are in this year … and, honestly, most of these bands haven’t lost a note (or any popularity)! Which only proves (again!) what I’ve said all along, people …

See ya on the flip side!