the Rock Report

Well, yeah … according to the Q Awards, Marianne Faithfull is considered a living icon (they named her that after saying she has an “enduring influence upon the music world”).Oooooookayyyy … if you say so ….IMHO, the lady is one helluva survivor … no, make that winner in life’s field.  I mean, without question, has had more than her share of bad bumps in the road whilst traveling this musical highway:  drugs, booze, Jagger, breast cancer, hepatitis C, and more.   And, granted, her voice needs just a bit of dusting off — after all, ya can’t go through all that she has and come out without at least a little wear-and-tear.  

But … icon??  Just because she’s gone through hell and back, continued to make albums and fill some great gigs and come back on the charts with Easy Come, Easy Go, and …

Come to think of it … she is!!   But as far as being an “enduring influence”?  When ya look at the likes of Carrie Underwood, Joss Stone, Imogen Heap, Taylor Swift,  Adele … and … hear … how … they …

Okay … I stand corrected …

WINEHOUSE MISSES THE MARK

At the same show, our fave rehab occupant, Amy “I-Live-My-Last-Name” Winehouse, was supposed to present an award to The Specials (Q Inspiration Award) but … in true AW fashion … missed her cue twice.

Not to worry, though … she eventually turned up on stage … after the band had accepted their award!

Now, like Marianne in her hey-day, this woman does have a decent, sorta-sultry voice.  But unlike Ms. Faithfull, this Wine House refuses to leave behind all the crap that’s screwing her up! 
It’s already cost her a marriage, jail and rehab time, and thousands of fans who are pretty much saying “When you’ve come to yer senses, look us up.  We’re over in the (Heap, Underwood, etc.) camp now …”

One more thing I noticed:  Spandau Ballet won the award for “Q Idols”  – even though they’ve just recently reunited after a 20-year hiatus!  From what I’ve been hearing, though, their stage presence hasn’t rusted a bit … and their songs are still as fresh as they were in 1989!

Okay … my quarter’s just about up (and so is my lunch break), so I’ll see ya in about 24!  Yeah, it’s on the …
FLIP SIDE!

It’s one of those weird shows that makes ya think “hmmm … why didn’t they think of this for real?”

But it’s actually a 38-minute run through the fantasies of every Democrat  (or whoever disagrees with the shi. … er, mess … that the Bush Administration left us with). 

Created by Roger Rudenstein, this romp (which would almost suit a Monty Python episode) takes the former Prez and his sidekick, Cheney (or wuz it the other way around??  I forget …) through a trial conducted by my ex-wife’s father (the Devil) along with the Grand Inquisitor (not to be confused with the Grand Poobah, who’s still torturing souls with Flintstones) and (of all people!) Angelina Jolie (now, the blurb I had said her part was played by a lookalike … ‘course, they’ve gotta be kiddin’, ’cause noooobody looks like Angelina [well, except for that strange bagboy down at m’ local grocer’s]).

Now, if ya wanna (I kinda like that pic to yer right … somehow, it just … seems … fairrrrr!) as I was sayin’:  If ya wanna get a free shot of the trial (meaning, you can download it for free!), just go here and dig in!
BTW, if you want some really hilarious stuff, be sure to register for their updates …

NOW … ON TO OTHER THINGS

Ireland’s legendary rockers, the Cranberries, have reunited and will be performing at The Electric Factory in Philadelphia, Riviera Theatre in Chicago, and Club Nokia in Los Angeles soon.  I don’t have the dates yet, but, undoubtedly, the fans are in for some great shows!  Let’s just hope they keep it together this time, huh?

And the remaining members of Wolfmother have announced a huge world tour in support of their upcoming new album Cosmic Egg.  The Australian-based Heavy Metal revivalists hit U.S. stages in Austin, Texas and Los Angeles, California, then take it overseas to Glasgow, Scotland.

ONE MORE THING:  In keeping with the renovations goin’ on, you’ll find the double-E chained to … er, behind the desk at the newly-renamed ForeWord Enterprises.  What was PressOne has changed to reflect the two parts of my career:  U.S. Press Officer for the dynamite UK band The Fore, and a journalist who … well, who’s rather wordy!

Anyway, more about that later. 

Check ya on the flip side tomorrow, okay??

Someone once told me, “It ain’t the amount of stuff that hits the fan that gets to ya, but the size of the fan itself.”

Over the past coupla weeks, there’s been a lady who’s been bent on pluckin’ the feathers outta the Eagle’s hide … and it’s cost me in time, money, headaches and more!  Not to mention a bit of legal dealings to stabilize my own holdings

(DAMN!!  After all this, I’m wonderin’ if it wasn’t the Clarkster in disguise!  Naaah … she’s a woman, which means she ain’t got no … hmmm … maybe it was him, after all … anyway …) word up:  there are readers who already know who I’m talkin’ about.  The rest of you can email me if ya want in on it …

Anyway, fortunately, the fan was bigger than the poop thrown (she was also wantin’ to tax — or stop — my work.  And there ain’t no way in hell that’s gonna happen!  Makes me wanna rock it even harder!)  So, now … the trouble’s behind me, the smoke’s cleared and I’m still stadnin’, and back online with regular, everyday madnes … er, posts … like it usedta — and still oughtta — be!!  So (okay … maybe just a leeeetle wobbly … that shoulda read “standin’” …) let’s do it:

GETTIN’ BACK TO THE BIZ AT HAND

The new noms for the Songwriters Hall of Fame (Class of 2010) were announced this past Saturday, and, amongst the writers/performers, Dion, David Gates, Tommy James, John Cougar Mellencamp, Lou Reed, Leon Russell, Cat Stevens (finally!) and Earth, Wind & Fire. (I still don’t get it; I know these are all American writers/performers, but … look, if anyone deserves to be in the Songwriters’ HoF, it’s Ron Ryan!

But, amongst the writers, you’ve got Tommy Boyce and Bobby Hart, Jackie DeShannon and Joe South (somehow, the SHoF forgot that these all performed at one time), as well as Mark James (”Suspicious Minds”), Luther Dixon (”Soldier Boy”) and the teams of Jerry Ragavoy and Bert Burns (”Twist & Shout”) and Paul Vance and Neil Pockriss (”Itsy Bitsy Bikini” … a song inspired by Paul seeing his three-year-old daughter in a “IBTWYPD Bikini” for the first time!).

Two performers and three non-performers are gonna be chosen and they’ll be announced early next year.

STAMPING IT OUT

One more quick woid: England, yer gonna have some new postal stamps coming your way in January! “Let It Bleed” by the Rolling Stones, “Led Zeppelin IV,” “Ziggy Stardust” from David Bowie and Mike Oldfield’s “Tubular Bells” are classic album covers destined to become stamps from Britain’s Royal Mail on 7 January 2010 (there’ll be ten album stamps in all!). Not guaranteed to get yer mail to its destination any quicker than regular stamps, but … hey, it’ll work better than if ya used none at all, right??

Well, that’s all the time we have on this edition. But stay tuned … we’ve got new lights and a coffee machine in the nearly-cat-free RockRoom (I did say “nearly”, right?) and will be back here later this evening with more …
So I’ll see ya on the flip side …

Eight years ago, on a dark and stormy night in A-Town, I’d just finished the first edition of a hand-held (hmph … sounds more timely.  Usedta be “hard-copy”) newspaper called The Window and didn’t wanna just twiddle thumbs (well, if they’d been mine, maybe …).  Realizing that newspapers have the mystical power of stimulating cats’ bladders, I wanted to build one that would be impervious to the incontinent. 
 
TA-DAAAAA!!!  Enter the Great Internet Newspaper,  a sort-of-literary speed-bump on the info superhighway!! It lasted for all of 312 weeks!  And it apparently caught on pretty well, because, by the time all was said and done, the ’spaper netted around 35,000 faithful followers each month (I assume they were faithful.  Dunno if Letterman or Gosselin were readin’ it or not …).

Due to endeavour-overload (sounds like a NASA phrase, for some reason …), I hadta close shop in 2006 with the promise to readers that it’d be back just as soon as the smoke cleared a bit.

Suddenly, all the cheering stopped … Anyway,

It’s back online as promised (awright … just cussed me out??) with news from both sides of the Atlantic and other articles that no cat can pee on.  And, since I just put it back online, there’ll be a lot more added to it as time goes on!
In this issue (and, btw, each one will be archived [andnoitsnotablog]) you’ll find The Fore, Ron Ryan, Look To The Stars, Marge Simpson naked, strange news (other than the preceding), quotes, links and more!

So here’s yer invite to join in the fun!  But, ABOVE all, keep yer dial set Right HERE … because this is where the rock’s gonna thrive, beyond nine-to-five,  stayin’ alive and in overdrive!
Now … enough jive … I fergot to give ya the link to the site: Just click greatinternetnewspaper.com … and yer there (no ads, pop-ups or coffee served …)

Okay … that’s it for my little off-subject thang. So, until tomorrow, when we get back to the bidness of Rocque and Rolle …
see ya on the flip side.

First up: We’ve just gotta give some industrial-strength kudos to Peter Criss, who just dropped some 411 into the mix by admitting he was diagnosed with breast cancer last year … but, thanx to early detection … has beaten the monster!

Natch, we’re thankful … but, infinitely more importantly, Pete has sounded a “wake-up call” throughout this breast cancer awareness mega-cause!

Yes, men can get it!! When they do, they gotta drop the macho BS and get treatment – otherwise, it can spread out and kill them as any other cancer could!

Dudes (yeah, I’m talkin’ to you!!), lemme ask ya: If you’ve been diagnosed as either at-risk or actually havin’ this disease, which is better: Bein’ so damned concerned with your “manly, robust, macho” image that you don’t get any treatment, or wantin’ to live badly enough to swallow yer friggin’ pride and “gettin’ ‘er done”??

Pete, you deserve mega props for bringin’ that out into the open and reminding us male people of this human species that, yeah … it can happen to us!
Great to know yer in remission, mate … hope ya have a lonnnng, healthy and rockin’ life!

Speakin’ of the big “C”, Shelby Singleton, aged 77, who bought Sun Records from Sam Phillips, died this past Wednesday from brain cancer.

After buying the label, e added greats like Roger Miller and Ray Stevens to his roster and songs like Bruce Channel’s “Hey! Baby” (the song — known for its harmonica backing — was the one that influenced John Lennon to add the instrument to Love Me Do).
Shel also produced hits on his own, like Jeannie C. Riley’s “Harper Valley P.T.A.”

While we cheer Pete Criss on during his remission, we also send condolences to Shel’s family and cohorts. The man was truly a legend and, without his influence, the country-music airwaves would’ve ended up sounding a mite different.

Okay … that’s all for this early go-round, but I’ll be back shortly with more, so stay tuned …

In the meantime, whether you’re a guy or gal, take a page from Peter Criss’ adventure and get that all-important check-up! Ya wanna keep yerself alive and well and on planet Earth for as long as ya can! After all … THE PARTY’S JUST STARTING!!

First of all, gotta ’splain why I’ve been away. Seems I’ve got some of those “piggy flu” symptoms, and been tryin’ to rest a bit. (I had bird flu last year and got tweetment. Reckon if this is the swine thing, they’ll probably just give me some oink-ment.)
Ahem … let’s move on:

Awww, c’mon … you’ve gotta know who the dude is in the pic, right??
Suuuuuuuuure … it’s Elvis Presley’s illegitimate son … IF you believe the line of bull he’s tryin’ to serve to the Supreme Court!

Actually, Ernest Young believes he’s actually Jason Presley, the son that Elvis never mentioned because his “dad” knew it’d be poison for his career!
The 52-year-old kook was declared incompetent back in 2006 after two medical examiners told the court that he thinks he’s the heir to the Presley fortune (among other things).
He’s accused of threatening several judges on different occasions for … er, refusing to file murder charges against people he believes conspired to kill Elvis.
Just yesterday, he filed a lawsuit for a DNA test to prove he’s heir to the King’s throne. Natch, it was thrown out …

However, Elvis’ now-17-year-old grandson, Benjamin (the real relative, seein’ as how his mum, Lisa Marie, is Presley’s only daughter), has been offered a $5 million, five-album deal by Universal Music.
But the kid isn’t trying to ride on grandpa’s sequined jacket-tails. “The music will be nothing like Elvis, nothing like him at all,” he said.

Wait … one more:

Kristopher Presley (otherwise known as [ahem!] “Thug Presley” [yes, he’s a rapper wannabe!]) is outta prison now. He was charged back in ‘04 with using his car to kill a guy outside a mini-mart in Las Vegas.
“Thug” is actually a cousin by way of Elvis’ dad, Vernon.

Man, and you think your family’s weird …

Well, gotta hit the bricks in about four (yes, long night! Ever try to sleep with this gunk in yer epiglottis?? It just doesn’t work!). But I’ll be back later this evening with more … so stay tuned …

You’ve heard it on Oprah, Today and Lord-knows-how-many other talk or entertainment shows, but …

how much of it is real?

Now, most of us remember “Papa” John’s pieces (not to be confused with “Papa John’s” Pizza) of misinformation back when he was with us. Yeah, he was a good singer with the M&Ps, but … wellll, his personal tastes left a lot to be desired.
He could hit the horse (smack, heroin, whatever …) as quickly as he could the bottle, and swear that he was clean of both.
‘Course, we knew better. There are some things you just can’t mask.

But … incest?? Awwww, come onnnn …

First, let’s consider his daughter, MacKenzie’s, and her own troubles with substance abuse … and her own mental fitness … annnnd her spite toward John.
Then, mix that with a desire to be back in the spotlight and make a lot of long green with it.

Does … does the picture seem the same now??

Another thing: If a daughter is being molested (or worse) by her father, don’tcha figure that the mother would catch on … and either leave (with daughter) or beat the bejabbers outta the old man (not to mention having him arrested?

Makes sense … and Michelle isn’t the type that’d put up with it, if she knew (and there are signs, believe me! Just click here to find out …).

Another thing: Why’d she … well, let’s let “Mama” Michelle (Mac’s real mom) ask this:
“”Mackenzie has a lot of mental illness… If she thinks it’s true, why isn’t she with a good psychiatrist on a couch? I think it’s unconscionable that Oprah would let her do her show. I have every reason to believe it’s untrue.”

Now … it’s your turn. What do you think? Reckon John was guilty? Or is Michelle right? Lemme know. Either leave comment or email me, okay?? I’ll publish some of the responses (using only your first names) shortly.

Until tonight … see ya on the flip side …

With heightened interest in The Beatles (due, in large part, to the new Rock Band game bearing their name and, in part, the digital remastering of their music library), UK TV/radio presenter Sir Terry Wogan has put himself in a recording studio along with Pink Floyd drummer Nick Mason and the Rolling Stones’ former bassist Bill Wyman to record covers of The Beatles’ classics.

These will be released on an album called Bandaged Together and will benefit the Children in Need program.

The idea was brought together by a group of Terry Wogan fans known as The TOGs (and ya gotta love the name: Terry’s Old Geezers and Gals).

“Last year, thanks to the TOGs, we raised about £3 million for Children In Need,” Sir Terry says. “We had Bandaged One which sold an awful lot and made hundreds of thousands of pounds for the charity. The idea this year is Bandaged Two and we are hoping to raise even more money.”

The album will include Sir Terry’s version of the Beatle anthem All You Need Is Love and is set to be released next month.

THE ART OF ELYSIUM

Awhile back, I mentioned a non-profit group called Art of Elysium, which Hugh Laurie (pictured) and his Band from TV supports.
Since then, I’ve had a few emails asking the musical question: What is Art of Elysium?

Okay … here’s the official blurb:

“The Art of Elysium is a non-profit organization founded in 1997 which encourages actors, artists and musicians to voluntarily dedicate their time and talent to children who are battling serious medical conditions.
They provide artistic workshops in the following disciplines: acting, art, comedy, fashion, music, radio, songwriting and creative writing.
They work with numerous hospitals and hospices throughout Los Angeles and have just opened in New York City.
For more information on The Art of Elysium please visit www.theartofelysium.org.”

I knowww … “Well … what does “elysium” mean??”
Actually, it comes from the Greek word, Ēlysion, which means paradise!
And what better feeling to give a child, huh??

See ya on the flip side …

First: I’d be amiss if I didn’t mention the passing of a modern-day cinematic legend.
Patrick Swayze lost his tremendous battle against pancreatic cancer yesterday. While millions of fans are paying their respects on Twitter, Facebook, in emails and call-ins, others are watching their copies of Dirty Dancing and Red Dawn, remembering the man who some had called our generation’s James Dean.
Patrick was an art form in every way, whether in dance, acting or even in his home life. No question that, although we all expected the end to come, we all miss him and are thankful for all that he gave to us through his acting.
RIP, Patrick! You fought a helluva battle and tought all of us how to face life with joy and death with dignity.

THE BEATLES and an amazing Russian Revolution

According to Dr. Yury Pelyushonok, a Canadian-based Doctor of Soviet Studies in Medicine who grew up in the former USSR in the 1960s, the Fab Four were responsible, in part, for bringing an end to the Communists regime!

“The Beatles had this tremendous impact on Soviet kids. The Soviet authorities thought of The Beatles as a secret Cold War weapon,” he said.

“The kids lost their interest in all Soviet unshakable dogmas and ideals, and stopped thinking of an English speaking person as the enemy.”

I’m not surprised — and neither is any other true student of the Fab Four.  After all, they epitomized and put a human face on what Shakespeare said years ago; that “music hath charms to soothe the savage breast.”  These guys inspired a total generation … whether it was in England, the states, France, Germany and around the world!  So their effect on kids in the former USSR doesn’t seem far fetched at all.

ONE MORE THING

Sunday night’s MTV Video Awards were disrupted by the rapper Kenye West, when he interrupted Taylor Swift’s acceptance speech upon winning the top award.
Now, I don’t know much about this guy’s music, but I do know he’s gotta watch himself …

Okay … taking a break here, but I’ll be back in about 12 or slightly more.  Until then, I’ll see ya on the flip side!

It’s almost time …

Yep … in just about 24 hours from now, Beatlemania is gonna be striking again!
Now, in case you don’t know what I’m talking about, just crawl out from under that rock you’re usin’ and lemme tell ya:
Not only does Rock Band: The Beatles come out, but we’re also gonna see the full, digitally remastered library of Beatles hits on the stands (and wanna bet they’ll go #1 on the Billboard?).

Now, I dunno a thing about that Rock Band business; promotions of the real thing, yes.  But the video game (or whatever it’s called)?  Nope.  No doubt, though, that it’s gonna start a resurgence of Beatlemania … and that’s definitely a plus …

GEEZ … YA CAN’T PLEASE EVERYONE …

I just got an email from a mate in the UK who plugged me in to some cat named Chez Pazienza — and what he has to say about the Sixties (aka “baby-boomer generation”, aka “children of peace”, aka “today’s sensible Democrats”) is enough to bristle the hair on a bald man (believe me, it works!).

He’s obviously really down on who we are … rather, who he thinks we are.
Here … read it yourself …

My take?? Okay, overblown dude, tell me: Have you championed civil, women’s, voting or gay rights? Have you protested an end a vicious, non-winnable war? And, with yer language, do you even think about peace?
Bro, we did these things back then … and we won those rights … the end of that war … and brought PEACE back into the program!!
Now … what have YOU done, hotshot??
So we’re off-kilter ’cause we wanna spread the sounds and “feel” of the era today?? Hey … check yer latest Arbitrons&#0174, man. Read Rolling Stone&#7874 or USA Today&#0174. You’ll see that’s what today’s generation wants!

In short, man … give it a rest!! Getcher facts straight, look at both sides of the picture, get that f*** garbage outta yer mouth, and then talk to us, huh??

See ya on the fli … oh … waitaminnit:
Guess I’d better ’splain where I’ve been over the past few days. Y’see, this Hu-Man Eagle (well, m’first name is actually “Hugh”!) is also U.S. Press Agent for The Fore … and a journalist and reviewer to boot. And I just got overwhelmed with m’work whilst fighting back an umbilical hernia …
But I’m back … and ready to return to the business of rock and roll!
That being said …
See ya on the flip side!